Mmmm... Vegemite... Mmmm...

The following was scooped from the alt.tasteless faq, found at http://www.cis.ohio-state.edu/hypertext/faq/usenet/tasteless-faq/faq.html. BE FORWARNED: This truly is tasteless (unlike Vegemite itself).

VEGEMITE

-can be bought in some health stores and isn't really the canned stool sample that rumour claim it is. Here are some first hand experiences with the edible caca: "I too have had vegemite. I found a stock in a "health food" store. US$ 2.69 for a 4 ounce (113 gram) jar. "5 calories per serving". It has an odd, purply-brown color, and a smooth, thick, sticky texture. The "axle-grease" association is accurate. It does indeed have quite a strong salty, yeasty flavor, and you had better spread it on _very_ thinly. I think it looks like a substance from my native land called "catfish dough bait", only said bait is a bit grainier, not as creamy. Catfish dough bait has a thick, liverish, bloody odor to it, and appeared to be a compound of mud, blood and pureed liver. On a hot day, opening the tub of dough bait and inhaling deeply could give you vertigo and motion sickness. I find it hard to believe that "marmite" has a stronger, more vicious taste than vegemite. "Vegemite" has a pretty vicious aftertaste, and because of the yeast extract, it tends to come back to you later, in belches. It's also one of those foods with such a peculiar taste that no matter what you eat after- wards, vegemite is the taste that sticks with you."

"It is very strong, try a little, then impress your friends with what looks like eating slabs of bread wiped in black excrement."

"Well, as a New Zealander, I can truthfully say that Marmite is the only real yeast extract worth eating. Vegemite is for wimps, while Marmite is for real men. It has a much stronger, more vicious aftertaste than Vegemite."

"It was the grossest thing I ever tasted. It's about as thick as peanut butter, and to say it tastes like shit would be an understatement."

INGREDIENTS:

Yeast extract (comes from the grunge that is left over after the beer brewing process), sea salt, potassium chloride, malt extract, caramel color, natural flavor, niacin, thiamine hydorchloride, riboflavin.

Serving size: 3.25 gram
Servings per container: 35 (big lie: I ate about a third of the container, and it was well over 100 servings)
Cheese and vegemite sandwiches are so common in Australia that the manufacturer (Kraft) now sells premixed cheese&vegemite slices (they are a greyish colour, and very nice between buttered white bread, possibly with some lettuce)

ObTrivia: Vegemite was invented after Marmite, and for a short time was called Parwill (get the pun? Mar mite, Par will. Ho ho!). "Vegemite" was the result of a renaming contest in the 30s(?). Let it also be known that Vegemite is available in 99% of Australian shops that stock spreads. IE, if the shop has jam, honey or peanut butter, then it almost certainly has vegemite as well.

...and what of Marmite?

To go back to the Bovril Shrine click here.